I Don’t Love Getting Older… But Here Are 5 Things It’s Taught Me

If I’m honest… I don’t love getting older.

Not because I feel bad — I actually feel great. Thank God!

I just don’t love how fast it’s moving.

One minute you’re the young guy with big dreams and zero backstory. Next minute people are asking you for “wisdom.”

Wisdom?
I was just trying to survive.

But the years do teach you things.

I thought about writing a long list… but let’s keep it simple.

Here are five things I’ve learned.

They’re not flashy. They’re not complicated. But they’re real.

1. Give Yourself Grace

I’ve lived way too hard on myself!

For years I thought intensity meant maturity. If I pushed harder… expected more… demanded perfection… I’d finally feel at peace.

I didn’t.

Perfection isn’t real. No one lives there.

We all:

• Say the wrong thing
• Miss the moment
• Make mistakes
• Learn by failing first

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s authenticity.

You can grow without bullying yourself. You can improve without despising who you are today.

Grace isn’t lowering the standard. It’s refusing to hate yourself while you’re becoming.

2. Don’t Rush Relationships Just Because You Met in Church

This one took some years to figure out. And I’m still trying to figure it out.

Just because someone loves Jesus doesn’t mean you immediately hand them your whole heart.

Church is a hospital. And not every patient is responding to treatment at the same pace.

We all have:

• Blind spots
• Unhealed places
• Pride that hides better than we think

I’ve watched people avoid dealing with their wounds and instead of healing… they relocate.

Different church. Different group. Same offense.

You can change locations. You can’t outrun what you refuse to confront.

Relationships are powerful. But wisdom says let time tell the truth.

Trust is layered. Character is revealed. Health is proven.

Slow isn’t unspiritual. It’s wise.

3. Be Okay with the Process

Everything meaningful takes longer than expected.

Healing. Growth. Vision. Character.

When I was younger, delay felt like failure.

Now I see it differently.

Process doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means you’re being formed.

The things that last are rarely rushed.

Enjoy the build. Not just the breakthrough.

4. Stick Around Long Enough to See Good Things

Over the years in ministry, I’ve noticed something I call the 3-year and 7-year itch.

People get bored. Restless. They want something in their life to change.

They’re usually not going to change their marriage. Or their job. Or their attitude. So the easiest thing to change?

Their church.

I’ve had the privilege of serving in one church for 28 years. I still can’t believe that! I don’t even feel 28!

Have I ever wanted to leave? Absolutely.

There were hard seasons. Disappointing seasons. Lonely seasons.

I recently heard a stat that most people may have seven people leave their lives over their lifetime.

Pastors experience that every 12 months.

I’ve watched people come and go. Some quietly. Some painfully.

Is it hard? Yes.

But here’s what I’ve also seen:

I’ve stuck around long enough to see miracles. Restoration. Growth. Second chances. Generational faithfulness.

If you leave every time it gets uncomfortable, you’ll miss the harvest that only comes with staying.

There is blessing on the other side of longevity. Stick around long enough to see good things.

5. Guard Your Heart, Lead with Love

Here’s one I learned the hard way.

Everyone gets your voice. Fewer get your hands. And even fewer get your heart.

For years I lived backwards.

I gave everyone my heart. And then I wondered why it felt trampled on.

You can lead with callused hands. But you cannot lead well with a callused heart.

A hard heart will protect you. But it will also shrink you.

So what softens a callused heart?

The love of God.

In Revelation 2:4–5, Jesus says, “Return to your first love.”

That’s not about trying harder to love Him.

First love isn’t your love for Him. It’s His love for you.

Love didn’t start with you reaching for God. It started with God reaching for you.

His love came first.

And when you live from that place… loved first, chosen first, pursued first… your heart stays soft.

And a soft heart is strong.

I may not love how fast the years move… But I love what they’re producing.

More grace. Better boundaries. Longer vision. Softer heart. Stronger roots.

Maybe getting older isn’t about losing something. Maybe it’s about finally learning what matters.

More lessons coming. I’m just getting started.

BEN DAILEY

www.awakenchurch.ac

benwdailey@awakenchurch.ac

972.261.1919

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